This morning I woke up, took a shower, did some self care, made my morning tea and sat down to have my normal spiritual/what's ahead of me today time with myself and my spirit team. During this time I did a quick check of social media to see and feel gratitude for any and all likes and comments made over night. I decided to rewatch a tiktok that I had made last night, which was gaining some traction. Upon rewatching it I suddenly felt my face wince and my mind cringe at a few things I had said.
What is The Cringe?
It wasn't that these things weren't true, it was the exact opposite! Because I was being honest and truthful about what I was addressing, something inside me cringed at the thought that I was being too honest. Too real. Too open. A feeling of regret came over me and the thoughts of "Ooo maybe they won't like me saying that." or, "omg are they going to think I'm weird? And because I'm weird, am I going to push them away and they won't like me as much or at all?". Why was I feeling like this? Why was I reacting like this? What is that cringey action we do when something hits too close to a nerve?
Exactly that! We hit a nerve! Think about it: whenever we pinch a nerve in our body (shoulder, backs, groin, etc), it becomes a tender spot when we move a certain way and we wince/cringe in pain. The same thing happens with things we say or do and when we reflect on them. The moments we cringe about or at are moments when we exposed our true selves, our true thoughts, a little too much and it pains us to know that we were so vulnerable AND confident in what we were doing or saying.
To cringe at something you've said or done indicates that you did something that flies in the face of everything we think people find acceptable. We went against the grain for a moment, showed how unique and different we really are from "acceptable" societal norms and now we have to either live with the memory of having done that or be reminded of it if it was posted on social media and goes viral. And every time we're reminded we feel that cringe or humiliation all over again.
But, for what? Being ourselves? Why is that humiliating? Who is it humiliating?
How to Embrace the Cringe
Who told you that you were cringey? What was it that you were doing that elicited this label? Why did you choose to believe what that person said? Were they a parent? The cool kid at school? A neighborhood friend whom you wanted to impress? This is a great journaling prompt to do with your inner child/teen.
The goal with this exercise is to give your inner self a safe space to air out their grievances, without rebuff or judgement, without justification of why you chose to believe someone else's judgement and not your own. Then express to them, either internally or audibly, that you're sorry for doing that and that you now trust your expression of self over what anyone says about it. You're telling them it's safe to come out and be who they were all along, fearlessly AND that you'll stand by them should anyone try to tell you otherwise.
It takes some practice, bravery and trying a lot of different expressions out that get you out of your comfort zone, before you nestle into a comfortable expression.
For example, I went through experimenting with different types of fashion styles, hair colors and styles, and social media posts before finding that I felt comfortable and fully expressed in the magical/fantasy expression you see now. I went through everything from boss babe, to kawaii/cute aesthetic, to vintage fashion and hair.
Be patient, open and willing to trying our whatever your inner child wants to on a whim, it will be like playing dress up when you were younger! And there's no need to go out and purchase all new things, make do with what you have or if you have nothing in that aesthetic but still want to try it, look for items at thrift stores. That way if it doesn't end up being for you you wouldn't have spent a fortune.
I hope this truly helps you embrace the magical being you truly are and express yourself authentically!
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